Monday, February 5, 2007

BOOZE du jour

So this past Saturday, clearly, I want to go out BOOZIN in the evening. Fine. So I try to find some people to go out and get all hammered with. I end up heading out with this dude I don't know all that well, let's call him The Man, but he's going out and says there's going to be a bunch of people there to hang out with. OK, I'll give it a whirl.

Problem: They are going out in Southie. I live in JP and the last thing I need is to have to go all the way across the city to drink beer with a bunch of people I don't know in a crowded bar. There are plenty of bars full of people I don't know right in my own neighborhood where I can drink beer. But fine, whatever, I head out anyway.

So I drive all the way to Southie. It's a pain to get there and it takes me about 20 minutes to find a decent parking space. The upside is that I didn't get lost like every other time I've been over in that neighborhood so it's a good night so far considering I had to drive all the way to Southie to drink beer with a bunch of people I don't know. Have I mentioned that part yet?

I arrive at the bar.

Problem: There is a line. OK, so here I am at this neighborhood shithole and there is a line. In fucking Southie. In summary, I have driven 20 minutes across town to spend 20 minutes finding a parking space to walk 10 minutes from where I parked to the bar and there is a fucking line. At a neighborhood bar. In. Southie.

So it's fucking freezing out that night. And there I am. Standing in line at the window watching all of the strangers with their "heat" and their "BOOZE" and thier "fun" and their "friends". But wait, someone is leaving... excellent... I gain entry and make an express trip to the bar to quench my frost-bitten thirst.

I get a beer and meet up with The Man. I start getting introduced to people. There are some women and some dudes and, given we're a bunch of 30-somethings, they are surprisingly unpaired. The Man is a talker and soon we're talking to every person who walks by. We have fun. We drink.

Problem: Some drama breaks out between rival factions of females associated with our group. I sure as shit have no idea what is going on. The Man is also befuddled. The drama continues to simmer but never seems to escalate and goes largely ignored for the balance of the evening.


Chick X seems anxious to go and says she lives in Back Bay. Since I am going to JP (and we are in fucking Southie), I offer her a ride home. She accepts my offer and we head out. Once we're on the other side of the door, I notice that another random drunk girl has joined us and "needs a ride to the North End".

Fine. I'm in nice guy mode tonight and so I generously give this chick a ride to the North End. There is friction between Chick X and Chick Y in the car but silent friction and we make small talk. I regret being in nice guy mode. But I get Chick Y home to the North End and things are all good.

OK, now Chick X, who I have never met before about three hours ago says, 'Can I just vent on you for a minute?' Ummm.... no. But my mouth says, "Sure." before my brain can kick its ass. So she goes on and on about Chick Y and I ignore her because I don't care. I figure it's all good. Then I make a wrong turn by mistake. Now I'm totally serious about this: This chick asks me where I'm going and basically accuses me of trying to kidnap her. Yes she did.

Don't go out drinking in Southie. Don't give crazy bitches rides home. Don't give other crazy bitches that are fighting with the crazy bitches you are driving home rides home.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

OMG that chick was RETAHDED.